Camp Stories

Below are some of my favorite conversations I either heard or were a part of during the first week of camp this summer.
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Tuesday night I was walking outside of the chapel building and noticed a boy sitting on some steps by himself. He looked lonely and knowing what it’s like to be alone, I decided to sit down with him and try to begin a conversation with him.

I found out his name and that the reason he was sitting outside was because the music inside was too loud for him. I then asked him some questions about the speaker. The speaker was speaking about Moses and I asked him questions about that. His reply was a mixture of several different Bible stories in one (according to the camper Moses was the guy who got trapped in a whale and after he got out he got better by eating some fruit and then was shipwrecked on an island and was bitten by poisonous snakes but didn’t die and eventually was murdered). I carefully went through the first part of Moses’ life with him. Ten minutes later the conversation concluded as follows.

Camper: Moses’ mom was Mary, right.

Me: I don’t think so. I’m not sure what Moses’ mom was named, but I don’t think it was Mary. Mary was Jesus’ mom, though.

Camper: Oh. Moses lived a long time.

Me: Yes. He lived to be 120.

Camper: Jesus lived a long time and died an old man.

Me: What? No, Jesus didn’t live very long and he was crucified.

Camper: That’s right. He was crucified. Do you know how the world will end?

Me: Well, kind of, but not exactly.

Camper: I know.

Me: Really? How?

Camper: It’s going to end in a giant waterfall that falls off into space.

Me: What?

Camper: At the end of the world there’s going to be a giant waterfall and everything will fall off into space.

Me: Where did you hear that?

Camper: It’s in a movie, At World’s End.

Me: That’s the pirate movie.

Camper: Yeah, but I also read it in National Geographic.

Me: What was it called?

Camper: “World’s End.”

Me: Not the movie, the article.

Camper: The MOVIE is At World’s End. The NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC is “World’s End.”

Me: Oh. Do you know what issue it was in? I’d like to read it myself.

Camper: Oh, you can’t find it online, Tom.

Me: I didn’t say I was going to look it up online. I’d just like to find a copy to read for myself. It’s sound interesting.

Camper: Oh. Let’s go inside now.
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On Wednesday afternoon I took the Science Center’s 7 foot red tailed boa, named Rose down to the beach. I didn’t actually make it into the beach because I was mauled by kids outside the gate. The kids seemed to be having a great time. Then one of the campers began asking me some really unusual questions.

Camper: Do you use dummies?

Me: Excuse me?

Camper: Do you use dummies?

Me: I’m not sure I understand what you are asking?

Camper: Do you use dummies?!

Me: Dummies?

Camper: Yes, dummies!

Me: I don’t understand.

Camper: You know, like the dummies they use in cars they test crash.
Me: Yes, I know what dummies are. But why would I use a dummy?

Camper: To practice on.

Me: What???

Camper: To practice on with the snakes. You know, to see how much pressure the snake uses to kill a person or what it does when it bites someone.

Me (holding back laughter): No, we don’t use dummies. It’s an interesting idea, though.
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While sitting at lunch one day one of my former campers started questioning one of the band members.

Camper: You like being on stage.

Band Member: It’s okay.

Camper: How come you guys aren’t a real band?

Band Member: What do you mean? We are a real band. We make cds and everything.

Camper: No you’re not. You’re just a bunch of wizzy guys some guy put together and put on stage.

Some more conversation followed and then…

Camper: How come every Christian camp I go to all they play is David Crowder. I like David Crowder and he’s a good musician, unlike you, but come on people. I was at FCA camp last week and all they played was David Crowder, too. What’s the deal?

May 2007

Books Read
Jack Knife by: Virginia Baker
Reliquary by: Douglas Preston & Lincoln Child
The Polysyllabic Spree by: Nick Hornby
A Year with the Hooper by: James Hoby
Children of Hurin by: J.R.R. Tolkien

Movies Viewed for the First Time
12 Angry Men (original)
Spider-Man 3
South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut
Smokey and the Bandit
Shrek the Third
Seed of Chucky
Lord of War
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End
Thank You for Smoking
Smokey and the Bandit II

I know that this is a couple weeks later than normal, but I’m at camp and have been busy and don’t have much time to write things for cyberspace right now. However, I intended on keeping this up for at least a year. Anyway.

Out of the books I read only two or worth noting. The Polysyllabic Spree is a collection of essays about the books Nick Hornby has read and bought. He then writes a column about them for The Believer magazine. This is the book that gave me the idea to do this in the first place. If you like reading and don’t mind a self-defacing, witty, British author then you might just enjoy it, too. The other book of note is The Children of Hurin. It’s a post humonous work of J.R.R. Tolkien that has been edited together by his son, Christopher. The book takes place millennia before The Hobbit and reminded me of a Greek tragedy. It’s not for everyone, but if you like Tolkien and Greek tragedies, be sure to check it out.

As for films, only two are noteworthy, also. The first is Lord of War with Nicholas Cage. The second is Thank You for Smoking. Both films are films that deal with serious issues and use the art of satire to do so. Lord of War is more dramatic, but it has its humorous moments. I highly recommend both.