Two Talents Instead of Five

Thanksgiving is next week. A few days after that is my birthday. I have a great deal to be thankful for. I have a job that, though it doesn’t pay very much, doesn’t leave me feeling miserable at the end of each day. I have a great family: parents, siblings, a few close cousins, etc. I’ve been able to see and experience some pretty amazing things in my life. I’ve dug for dinosaur bones, been the producer and co-host of an international award-winning radio program, and walked atop the white cliffs of Dover. I currently live in a rural and somewhat remote area and I sometimes joke with people that it would be nice to have some friends, but the truth is that I have friends literally spread around the world and many of them I’m still on a good basis with. Also, even though I’m an impoverished American (poverty in America is much different than the rest of the world), every one of my needs has been provided for. My faith is the central core of who I am and God has been good.

Yet, despite all of these blessings in my life, I find myself struggling to be content. Most of my friends from high school and college are now married and have families of their own. Most are earning incomes of thirty, forty, fifty, and some close to a hundred-thousand dollars a year. They have their own homes and drive around in vehicles that aren’t on the verge of breaking down and falling apart. Some have gone quite far in their chosen careers and are now in positions of power and prestige in their communities.

I try not to compare myself to any of that. But it’s extremely difficult sometimes. I was born poor. I’ve tried to rise above that while still truly living life to the fullest, but the fact is I’m still poor. I don’t own a home and though someday would like to, I know that it might be financially impossible for me to ever do that (besides I have wanderlust I constantly have to deal with). I drive a car that is seventeen years old; being poor and already in debt doesn’t allow for one to do buy new cars. As for matters of the heart, I’m pretty much a complete loser in that aspect and though I’m content being single, but I can’t deny that I’d really like to be married someday. As for careers, well, neither of the professions I chose to pursue thus far have turned out very well. I really want to make movies and write. I was supposed to go to film school several years ago, but gave that up to get a teaching certificate instead. I can make a great teacher, but that field hasn’t turned out very well and the politics of education in America has soured me about it. In all honestly, instead of teaching I’d much rather make movies, but finding those opportunities with hardly any experience is incredibly difficult where I’m at right now. I’d move to a better locale, but moving requires money and once again I’m back to being poor. (As for writing, I do that and do it well. I just may never have the connections to be able to turn my writing into some sort of income.)

Lately, I find myself thinking about Jesus’ parable of the talents (Matt. 25:13-30). In that parable a master gave one of his servants five talents, another two, and another one. He did this just before he left on a long journey that he might not come back from. But he came back and we he did he went to those three servants to see how well they did with what he gave them. The guy with five doubled his, the guy with two doubled his, but the guy with one buried his in the ground. The guy with five and two were rewarded but the guy with one was literally thrown to the wolves. I don’t think I’m like the guy who just had one and then hoarded it. I’ve never really imagined myself as the guy who was given five either. Instead, I’ve always felt I was more like the guy who was given two. He wasn’t given very much, but he doubled the investment by the time his master returned. The thing I keep thinking about is the servant who was only given two talents. He started out with only two while his friend was given five. The guy who was given five talents had a huge advantage over him. I know the master only gave them what they could handle, but that still doesn’t stop me from pondering what would have happened if the servant with two had started out with three talents instead of two.

As Thanksgiving approaches with my birthday soon after, I have to remind myself that I only have control over what has been given to me. Other people are not you. Even though I wrestle with tinges of jealousy when I see my bosses son’s new BMW or hear about another girl I was kind of attracted to now dating, engaged, or married to someone else or find out about a friend’s recent promotion, I won’t let those feelings of jealousy control me. I’ve lived, and not just existed, a pretty good life so far. I am blessed and God has been faithful. Despite not being where I would like to be or doing exactly what I want to, I know things are going to turn out. Life moves too fast for me to compare myself to others and I am what I am.

I Can Do More Than Imagine

A few years ago a Christian band named Mercy Me released a song entitled "I Can Only Imagine". The song was huge on Christian radios stations (and is still played rather frequently) and many churches and para-church groups use the song as a praise song. Basically the gist of the song is that a believer can only imagine and really has no idea what it will be like when they die and go to Heaven and meet Jesus face to face.

What a crock. First off, if you can only imagine what Heaven is like, then apparently you haven't read the Bible very well because there are some fairly vivid descriptions of certain things to be seen in Heaven. Besides that, if you can only imagine, then you haven't lived much of life, either. I'm not that old, yet, but there are times in my life during certain events and experiences that I know I've tasted a bit and been given a glimpse of Heaven here on Earth. Granted, sometimes it wasn't until after those moments had past that I realized the significance of what had happened. But still, it happened.

Perhaps instead of singing about only imagining, you should walk outside and actually do a bit of living, and not just existing, first.

Obama's Faith

For a fascinating interview with President-elect Barack Obama about his faith read this article. It's pretty clear from the interview that at the time Obama was a unitarian universialist, possibly growing into a deist.

THE SPIRIT Should Bomb

While waiting for the new James Bond movie to start last weekend, I saw a trailer for an upcoming movie entitled THE SPIRIT. It's from the mind of Frank Miller and done in the style of SIN CITY. However, I'd advise people not to see the movie. Why? Because it's going to be terrible. How can I say that, you ask. Well, because of this one line taken straight from the movie"

"I'm going to kill you dead in so many ways."

I think Uwe Boll can write better dialogue than that.

Some Comments on JESUS MADE IN AMERICA

I recently finished reading a book that I really enjoyed. The book is entitled Jesus Made in America and is written by Stephen J. Nichols. It's a book that I think every Christian in the U.S. should read. Many of the Nichols' major points are things I have seen and felt, too, but he expresses them much better than I ever could. The book has eight chapters and is basically split in two distinct parts. The first four chapters focus on the history of Christianity in America and how Jesus has been viewed differently from the Puritans until now. The second half of the book (last 8 chapters) focuses on how Jesus has been used, abused, and debased in our culture, specifically through music, film and television, merchandise, and politics. I've selected a few passages that I found particularly relevant.
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On Traditions:
"Jesus, like most cultural heroes, is malleable....But there is something peculiar to the tendency to contemporize in American evangelicalism.....American evangelicals reflexively harbor suspicions of tradition. In fact, most tend toward being rabidly antitradition. Consequently, the past is overlooked as a significant source of direction. This leaves American evangelicals more vulnerable than most when it comes to cultural pressures and influences. In absence of tradition, we tend to make up a new one, one not tested by time and more or less constructed by individuals or by a limited community....This is the tendency of Americans in general to be not only amnesiacs of the past but to be amnesiacs who aren't necessarily looking to be cured." pp. 10-11 (emphasis mine)

On Contemporary Christian Music:
"All of these songs focus not on any act of God in history, not on the concrete events of Christ's life and death and resurrection. These songs all lack exactly what Jon Fischer lamented as a lamented as a great loss, linking Jesus' love not to anything done in history, but to the personal experiences of feeling Jesus near, of feeling him close during those hard times. Like a good boyfriend, Jesus shows up at the right moment, says the right thing and knows how to hug. Take out the name Jesus that occurs from time to time and these songs could be sung to a boyfriend....It becomes hard to not see triteness in much of the lyrics of CCM when so many artists speak so glibly and vaguley of the love of Christ, reducing it to romantic notions and mere personal experience. It also becomes hard not to see how this love sung by Christian artists is on par with the way love is handeled in the non-Christian songs adolescents also listen to....The longing to express a deep devotion to God is laudable. But caution enters in when that longing coms in a theological vacuum." pp.140-142

Importance of Nicaean and Chalceonian Creeds:
"American evangelicals have sterling proficiency in the realm of subjective and experiential. But not all of the answers to life's questions come from within or com from our own time. If American evangelicalism will ever land on that crucial life-giving Christology it will have to deal with the fifth-century council of Chalcedon as well as that fourth-century one at Nicaea....The Bible and these councils save us from our limited perspectives and our cultural static. In one sense, then, we can answer the question concerning how we construct or deposit of faith in the twenty-first century by telling ourselves that we don't have to start from scratch....These creeds and the biblical texts they are fashioned from provide the church with its perennial theology, which the church in any country in any century simply cannot afford to live without. From the vantage point of the past, we can cast a more critical eye on the present." pp.224-225.

Tradition:
"To start, it may be helpful to listen to Scripture first, then to tradition, then to experience rather than the more typical reversal of that order. Listening to tradition means not relying on our own resources to solve all of our own problems or answer all of our questions. It takes humility to look to the past. And it takes humility to submit to Scripture." p. 225.

Praying for an Elijah

I'm praying for an Elijah.

Expanding My Horizons

This past weekend I took a trip up to Chicagoland to visit some friends. It was really good to see my friends and it was a nice little "vacation". In addition to getting away from the hustle and bustle around me and spending time with old friends, I always find it fascinating how many opportunities present themselves during trips like that. I'm a person who wants to live life to the fullest and here's a small sample of how my horizons were expanded this weekend.

1. I dressed up like a penguin. I've been wanting to do that since I was three. It was also the first time I've dressed up for Halloween in about a decade.

2. I tried sushi for the first time in my life and enjoyed it. I look forward to trying it again in the future.

3. I was introduced to the the comedy duo "Flight of the Conchords" and loved them. They are hilarious.

4. I was introduced to the cable show GOOD EATS on the Food Network. It interests me very much. The host Alton Brown has lived a life and has a career that is similar to what I want to do

5. I ate a Chicago-style hot dog for the first time in my life.

A Couple of Campaign Observations

Here's a couple of things I've noticed about the current U.S. Presidential campaign. There's one for both candidates.

John McCain is supposed to have a feisty disposition; he's supposed to have a temper and when he gets angry and upset says some very colorful things. If this is true, and I have no reason to doubt that it is, where has McCain's disposition been the past eight months? I'm not that big of a fan of McCain, but it would sure have made things a lot more interesting if he was out running around the country spouting some of the things he's said on the Senate floor in the past. From listening to and watching him, I get the impression that he's pretending to be someone he thinks people want him to be instead of just being himself. We're coming up on the two-year mark of this election cycle and I'm kind of sick of it all, but it would have been much more entertaining to watch the past eight months if McCain would have just been McCain (anyone seen the SNL TV Funhouse from 8 years ago with McCain giving a speech supporting W.'s nomination?--hilarious?).

On the other side of the spectrum, should Barack Obama win the Presidential race, he will be the first person to have ever win a Presidential election running against a ghost (the ghost of George W. Bush).

A Comment About HEROES 3:4 "I am Become Death"

I really don’t think Mr. Linderman is just a figment of Nathan Petrelli’s imagination or a hallucination caused from brain trauma. What I don’t know if Linderman has changed and is supposed to be like Gandolf in THE LORD OF THE RINGS, guiding Nathan in the direction of light, or if he’s more like Mephistopheles and is trying to trick Nathan into some grand evil plan he has.

The Man on the Bridge

As I was driving to work today, I saw a construction worker taking a leak off the side of a bridge across Shoal Creek. I guess he assumed it was so early that there wouldn't be any vehicles coming across the bridge and he had enough time to answer nature's call there. He looked really embarrassed. I laughed for a minuted straight.

Chubby Checker's Birthday!

Happy Chubby Checker's Birthday!

Tom's Newest Play: NEVER TOO LATE

Dear friends and family,

I just wanted to let you know, I'm in another play. It's titled NEVER TOO LATE. I play one of the leads, Harry Lambert. The synopsis of the show is given below.

The story of NEVER TOO LATE follows middle-aged Harry who lives comfortably with his wife, Edith, and his 24-year-old solitaire-addicted daughter and her husband. Though rather sour and a bit mean, he is, in fact, content. When Harry finds out that Edith is pregnant again, he is anything but overjoyed. In addition to being startled by the unplanned pregnancy, his previously meek little wife begins to lay down the law. There is to be a nursery, a new bath and she is to start writing checks. Audiences will enjoy the Archie Bunker-like characters and hysterical story line.

Showtimes are 7:30 p.m. Oct. 3,4,10, and 11 and 2:00 p.m. Oct. 5, 2008 at the Upper Elementary School Auditorium, 1800 Lindenthal Ave., Highland, IL 62249. I believe tickets are $9, $8 for seniors, and $7 for children. You can get more info at www.hardroad.org

I'm portraying a very different character than I've done before. If you can make it, I'd love to see some of you there!

The Decline of Language

Today after I finished walking, I came across some graffiti painted on the ground. The message said, "You ant shit to me bitch." I walked away pondering why the person who wrote this would call someone "ant shit". I mean all animals and insects poop. I couldn't figure out what was so special about ant feces that someone would use it as an insult? Then I realized what the person meant, he meant to write "ain't shit". I guess that it's just another sign of the times. Am not became ain't and ain't has become ant.

Danny Boyle

I have a new director whom I admire: Danny Boyle. Boyle is best known for TRAINSPOTTING, a film I still need to see. I have seen 28 DAYS LATER and SUNSHINE, other pictures Boyle has directed, and was rather impressed. This afternoon I watched MILLIONS. Amazing! It's such a beautiful, touching, inspiring, uplifting, and imaginative film. MILLIONS is a great movie. I highly recommend it. I'd like to be a director like Danny Boy

Jesus Was a Community Organizer?

On my blogs, I try to avoid writing about politics as much as possible. Politics is way, way too divisive. People pick a person, side, or issue and will say or do anything for what they have chosen without thinking one moment about what they are saying or doing. All the partisan bickering has divided this country so far down the middle that I don’t know if it will ever be possible to return to an era when most politicians were actually real statesmen concerned about the welfare of the country and its citizens instead of their own personal power. I know that politics has always been a game between those who were in it for the betterment of humankind and those who were in it just for their own ego and power trips. But, looking back through history it seems that there used to be, at least in the U.S., a time when there were more people in politics for the right reasons. Now it seems like the majority of the people in politics are power-hungry idiots.

Take for instance this recent statement made in Congress by Rep. Steve Cohen of Tennessee. “I submit to you, Mr. Speaker, that the parties have differences. But if you want change, you want the Democratic Party. Barack Obama was a community organizer like Jesus, who our minister prayed about. Pontius Pilate was a governor. Thank you, Mr. Speaker.”

There are two fallacies about that statement. The first is so obvious and ludicrous that I’m not even going to discuss it. You can figure it out on your own.

The second is a bit more subtle and it is the assertion that Jesus was a community organizer. Reading through the New Testament, I find it incredible that someone would describe Jesus as a “community organizer”, at least in the way most people view what a community is. It is true that Jesus was and is all about community, but it is a completely different type of community. The community Jesus was about was unearthly, not-of-this-world. It was a community that could only exist when each of its members were right with God, living in agape, and working together for a common purpose. But, when Jesus walked the Earth no one understood that. Instead of organization, wherever Jesus went there was chaos. Jesus said things that people didn’t like to hear, such as that if they truly wanted to be his disciple they would have to hate their family and even their own life. He promised people trials and tribulations. He drove away very profitable businesses out of the temple. He spent over three years of his life living as a homeless person and told a young, respectable, and wealthy citizen that the only way he could follow him was if he sold all of his possessions. True, people followed Jesus, but most did so out of curiosity. He had his disciples, but even his innermost circle and closest friends abandoned him during his trial. No one testified on his behalf and his most trusted friend denounced him three times and in doing so condemned him to die. On the day of his death no one was comforted. That really doesn’t seem much of a “community organizer” to me.

An Awkward Situation

I'm currently in another play. I take rehearsals very seriously. I learn my lines best through the structured repetition of rehearsal. Last week we were rehearsing and blocking the final scene of the play. The last scene of the play is fairly intense and has all kinds of stuff going on. We had been rehearsing for almost two hours and had about thirty minutes of practice left. I sat down in a chair for the next part of the scene. I felt a chill in the swimsuit area. I looked down and suddenly find myself in an awkward situation: my pants were ripped up from the bottom of my zipper to where the inseam normally meets. I'm not for sure how long my pants had been like that. I really wasn't embarrassed because it's not the first time my pants have ripped during a rehearsal. However, I know things like that can make other people nervous or embarrassed. I made it through the rest of rehearsal as best I could. I did a lot of standing behind chairs. I was wearing khakis and I'm just glad I had almost tan-colored boxers on otherwise things could have been even more awkward.

Hawaii Vs. Alaska

With Gov. Sarah Palin being selected on Friday as John McCain's VP choice, Alaska and Hawaii, the two non-continental states of the Union, will both have a major impact upon the 2008 U.S. Presidential election. Palin is a native of Alaska and is the current governor of the state. On the Democrat side, nominee Barack Obama lives in Illinois, but is actually from Hawaii and is considered my many citizens of that state as their favorite son. So, Hawaii and Alaska both have a voice in the Presidential election. Throw out all previous political theories because it's a new age and the standard political theories no longer have the power they once had.

The Problem With Heroes

You know what the problem with heroes is? We’re just too darn good for our own good.

Treasure Inside

"Hello, Benny," Mrs. Starrett said. Like Mrs. Douglas at school, she genuinely liked Ben. Grownups, especially those who sometimes needed to discipline children as part of their jobs, generally liked him, because he was polite, soft-spoken, thoughtful, sometimes even funny in a very quiet way. These were all the same reasons most kids thought he was a puke. "You tired of summer vacation yet?"
Ben smiled. This was a standard witticism with Mrs. Starrett. "Not yet," he said, "since summer vacation's only been going on"--he looked at his watch--"one hour and seventeen minutes. Give me another hour."
[...]He looked up after [reading] three chapters [of his book], and his eye was caught by a brand new display. The poster on top (the library was gung-ho for posters, all right) showed a happy mailman delivering a letter to a happy kid. LIBRARIES ARE FOR WRITING, TOO, the poster said. WHY NOT WRITE A FRIEND TODAY? THE SMILES ARE GUARANTEED!
Beneath the poster were slots filled with pre-stamped postcards, pre-stamped envelopes, and stationary with a drawing of the Derry Public Library on top with blue ink. The pre-stamped envelopes were a nickel each, the postcards three cents. The paper was two sheets for a penny.
Ben felt in his pocket. The remaining four cents of his bottle money was still there. He marked his place in Hot Rod and went back to the desk. "May I have one of those postcards, please?"
"Certainly, Ben." As always, Mrs. Starrett was charmed by his grave politeness and a little saddened by his size. Her mother would have said that the boy was digging his grave with a knife and fork. She gave him the card and watched him go back to his seat. It was a table that could seat six, but Ben was the only one there. She had never seen Ben with any of the other boys. It was too bad, because she believed Ben Hanscom had treasures buried inside. He would yield them up to a kind and patient prospector...if one ever came along.

--IT, Part 2, Chapter 4, Section 7; Stephen King

This is me.

Temperate Thoughts

I have a confession to make. There is something within me that is attracted to darkness. When I say that, many people will assume that I like doing evil things, but that’s not what I mean at all. I really don’t like doing evil things (at least most of the time). No, what I mean by darkness isn’t evil, per say. What I mean when I say there is something within me that is attracted to darkness is that for some reason at times I have an attraction to pain, suffering, unhappiness, etc.

Overall, I am a fairly optimistic person. I try to see the best in people and in circumstances. In general, I take people at their word unless they give me reason not to. I’m a joyful person (I was once nicknamed Mr. Joy). I am an extroverted-introvert and therefore despite my seeming reserve and shyness, love experiencing new things, going to new places, meeting new people, and making new friends. I truly believe that hope is one of the best things in the world and that love, usually in agape form, can conquer all. As an example, my favorite film of all the Star Wars films, much to the chagrin of other fans, is Return of the Jedi. That movie flows with messages about grace, mercy, redemption, the importance of not giving up, and ultimately good triumphing over evil. I have a worldview that reflects those values.

At the same time, I’ve lived through enough pain, sorrow, and sadness to know that the happy ending of Return of the Jedi (and most chick-flicks that so many of my female friends are fond of), isn’t what usually happens in life. Those endings reflect something within us all that tells us, “This is how the world SHOULD be.” We want the world to be like that. We want people to end up falling in love with the people they are supposed to and living happily ever after. We want adventure and romance. We know that there will be conflict, but we want things to work out in the end. Unfortunately, that’s not how the world usually IS. I’ve experienced enough and seen enough in my life to know that in the world in which I live bad things sometimes happen to very good people, nice guys often end up finishing last, and the good guy doesn’t always win.

I want to always be a hopeful, joyful, and happy person. Like most people (including Jesus just before his crucifixion) I’d prefer to avoid pain. I want to make others happy and see them smile. It troubles my heart every time I see someone suffering. I’ve yearned to be able to heal people in their sickness and like John Coffee in The Green Mile and take the sickness and suffering of others and bring in within myself. I’ve tried to keep a positive outlook on things, but despite my best intentions, I’ve digested a lot of the sorrow, suffering, and sadness I’ve seen and felt. I don’t think that’s a bad thing, necessarily. However, I do know it is a problem when I feed upon that darkness.

The darkness makes you strong, but it also turns your outlook of life into one of bitterness and apathy. Take my writing or conversations I had with friends a few years ago. I wrote some really powerful writing a few years ago and around the same time, some of my friends were telling me I should go into stand-up comedy. There’s nothing wrong with that either. The problem for me was that I was feeding on the darkness. I was drinking from it, which was emotionally and spiritually unhealthy, and much of what I wrote was very sad and much of what I said was extremely bitter and vitriolic. There was some truth to those thoughts, but just a nugget. That nugget of truth didn’t really mean much because it was cloaked with superficiality and wasn’t tempered with the joy and vitality that also surrounded me. It just wasn’t me.

That brings me to the crux of the matter which is the issue that I see as the defining issue of my life: temperance. Most people who hear that word think it has something to do with not drinking alcohol. That’s because some very well-meaning, though narrow-minded people took the word to define their crusade to ban alcohol. That’s unfortunate because temperance has so much more to do with living life than how much or how little alcohol a person drinks. I know that words change over time and sometimes lose their original meanings. Yet, words like people are redeemable and if nothing else, let it be known that I intend to redeem temperance to its original meaning.

Anyway, temperance means balance. Plain and simple. When something is tempered, metal for example, it is brought to as close to perfection as it possibly can. Living a temperate life means living a balanced life, and therefore living as close to perfection as one can.

I will never be perfect in this world. No matter how hard I strive and in all honesty, I don’t want to be perfect. I have just as many flaws and faults as anyone. I have been broken and battered. My heart has been crushed. People I’ve loved have died. I’ve seen other people I love suffer unnecessarily and there hasn’t been a thing I’ve been able to do. I’ve also hurt people, sometimes unintentionally, but sometimes intentionally. I can be selfish. I am proud and sometimes greedy. After all, I am human. But, I can and do strive to live the temperate life. I am in the world, but not of it. The great challenge of our lives is in attempting to reach temperance, to live in balance. Go too far one way and you become rigid, dogmatic, self-righteous, and pessimistic. Fall to the other extreme and everything is care-free and happy until the trials and tribulations of life start which then turns you bitter, jaded, callous, cynical, and pessimistic (both extremes lead to pessimism). I want to live in the middle. I want to enjoy each moment of life given to me, but not be crushed when the challenges of life set in. I want to live the temperate life.

So, go live life. Do the things you enjoy doing. Do the things you are called to do. Do things that make you and others around you happy. Be joyful and when the trials and tribulations come (for come they will), try not to fall too far from the middle. As Dr. Seuss wrote, "Step with care and great tact and remember that Life's a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft."