Thursday, August 23, 2007

Here's the Deal.

The journey of my life has taken some really strange turns the past several years, but the path I’m on now is the strangest of all so far. I’m in Wonderland and that crazy Cheshire Cat keeps creeping me out. He’s got some great advice, but he’s also really dangerous because he plays for both sides. I’m feeling really confused. I’m living in two different worlds at the moment and I feel ready to rip apart at the seams.

“Long ago
In someone else's lifetime
Someone with my name
Who looked a lot like me
Came to know
A man and made a promise
He only had to say
And that's where he would be
Although the feelings run just as deep
The promise he made has grown impossible to keep
And yet I wish it wasn't so.”

The things I thought I was supposed to be doing, or rather the things I WAS supposed to be doing are no longer the things that I’m supposed to be doing now. A dream delayed might not be denied any more; I can see it waving at me in the door beyond. And that man from long ago has told me the vow is complete. With a wink and a nod, he said I’m free to go.

The journey has brought me through many Bang-Ups and Hang-Ups and even a Slump or two. I’ve heard voices all around me, mainly children’s voices. They’re good, strong, and solid voices. They are voices from The Waiting Place and they are voices that any dullard with any amount of common sense would listen to. But I’m no dullard; my head is full of brains, my shoes are full of feet, and I’m much too smart to go down any not-so-good street.

I’ve gotten mixed up of course and despite knowing better I’ve even mixed up my left foot with my right sometimes. But I’m on my way out to find the bright places; places where some Boom Bands are playing. I’m ready for anything under the sky, ready because I’m that kind of guy.

At least that’s what I keep telling myself. The Waiting Place isn’t the best place in the world, but it is a definite place. It’s also really comfortable, too. And all those voices. None of those voices sounds at all unreasonable. I’m the one who sounds unreasonable. In fact, I act like I’m insane. Me, the guy who has tried to live life according to logic and temperance is probably the craziest person of all.

I don’t know what’s going to happen. I really don’t. I’m trying my hardest to hang on and enjoy the ride, but I’m about ready to crap my pants.

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